community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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