I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
