she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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