Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
