Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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