so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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