she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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