he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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