I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
