There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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