im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
