what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
