Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My ATM looks so different sober.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize