Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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