I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
