it wasn't lemon gatorade
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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