she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
