there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
