She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
