I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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