I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize