ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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