there was a trapeze. enough said
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
