Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize