I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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