Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
