real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
What happened to fro yo and sex?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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