i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
is wine microwaveable?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
