Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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