I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
