You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
