sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
How external is "for external use only"?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
