she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
