What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
