You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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