The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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