after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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