do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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