Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
