Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Shame - the story of my life.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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