I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
