he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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