it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize