I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
its liver damage thursday
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
