We're facebook friends in real life
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
