I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Damn victory sex feels great
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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