....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize