Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
