You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think my moral compass just broke
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
