I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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