okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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