the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
