she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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