How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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