these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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