He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
