So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Randomize
