dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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