If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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