Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
